It Does Hurt More

I have heard the words a million times: "This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me." Until Friday, that was the biggest joke I had ever heard.

I am a RCS at Doulos Ministries in Branson, MO. I love this job more than any I have ever worked before. Young men and women, ages 12-17, are sent here by their parents in an effort to restore family relationships. I have the privilege of living with two of those young men (we call them Littles and they call us Bigs).

Last Friday was house night. This means at the Littles and Bigs from the Guy's House embark on an activity together. We went to the Acrobats of China show. It was fantastic! On the way to Krispy Kreme donuts after the show, I asked all the Littles to buckle up in the van. One of my Littles decided not to buckle. This is when being a Big is tough.

At Krispy Kreme, I pulled my Little aside and talked to him about his disobedience. I told him he would receive a work hour (a standard consequence) for his actions. I didn't want to just hand him his punishment and move on. This isn't like a sports activity where I can just hand out penalties. This place depends on relationships. Believe it or not, I already love my Littles very much and really want them to see God's love for them through me. I told him I did not come here for the power and this was not and exercise of that power. It is important to obey authority, I said. Later, I reflected on how "old" I must have sounded and do sound to myself.

My Little seemed to be in a bad mood the rest of the night. This, of course, put me in a bad mood. I felt disconnected. I wanted so badly to reconnect with him again. Unfortunately, he left the next day for a weekend off-property. I miss him and cannot wait to talk to him about this when he returns.

What I find most ironic about this situation, is how badly I wanted to find an alternative to giving consequences. If only talking to him in a stern voice was enough. If only I could yell at him and them buy him a donut to pretend it never happened. These things do not work though. I love him and thats why I know I have to discipline him.

Proverbs 3: 11-12

11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,

12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.